Struggle Release Toolkit
Ten Things You Can Do Right Now to
Stop Struggling and Find Peace (Even
When You Are in Pain).
1. Conscious Breathing. Whenever you think of it, simply notice that you are breathing. Notice the breath as you inhale moving through your nose, inflating your lungs and your diaphragm. Notice the flow of air as you exhale, feeling your chest and abdomen falling and constricting. Nothing to change, nothing to force, nothing to control. Just watching yourself breathe. This is an instant way to bring you out of the mind chatter, the stories of struggle.
2. Meditate: Bring yourself into Presence. After taking a conscious breath, bring your awareness to the actual fact that you are alive. Start with feeling the “aliveness” in one hand. Close your eyes. How do you know that your hand is there? You can feel it; the energy of it, from the inside, yes? Now expand that awareness to the other hand, your feet, the top of your head. And take it one level deeper, by noticing the aliveness of your whole being. How do you know you are alive? Because you can feel it; the energy of it, from the inside. The energy of life is flowing through you. You are life itself in human form.
3. Love and Comfort yourself. Do you know that you are a being of love and light? Just like a drop of water has exactly the same elements of its source in the ocean. You have the same exact elements as the source of your creation. Whether you believe this as God, Life, or simply as the energy of the universe from which you were born. If you can’t find your own Light because you are too immersed in the struggle of your Ego; remember the last time you knew how lovable you are. When we stop expecting others to love us, to provide safety and security for us, and we start taking responsibility for our own love, safety and security, we can let go of the resentments that are born out of unrealistic expectations of others. The one person who will never leave you…is YOU. Teach others how to love you by loving yourself.
4. Forgive yourself. Accept your imperfections; know that you are human, and by very definition, have flaws. Stop pretending that you aren’t imperfect. You are. We all are. Perfectly imperfect. Let go of the idea that in order to be loved, you must either be perfect, or hide that fact that you aren’t. This is a trap. Release this story and step into the freedom to just be; and learn; and heal; and grow.
5. Forgive others. Look for the Light in them. They are a being of Light too. Even when they are not shining it. If you can’t see it in them, remember they are human too; doing the best they can with the level of consciousness they have at the moment. When you forgive others, you are not condoning bad behavior, you are accepting that they are human and imperfect, and you release yourself from resentment, and you release your loved ones from the restriction of an Ego Story. Only from this perspective can you invite your significant people into the loving energy you desire.
6. Look for the Truth in Your Pain. Your Ego attempts to avoid pain, but often keeps you in suffering. “Do I have an Ego Story based on an old wound that I haven’t processed?” If you are not sure, reach out, ask someone you trust, look for a therapist, counselor, spiritual guide, to help you dig a little deeper. As you do, the pain will point you to the place in you that needs healing, which really just means, it needs some tender loving care…from YOU. There’s a spot within you that is stuck in some story of the past; some dynamic that is familiar, but no longer serves you. Once you shine some light on the wound, it heals, you can move on; you can change the quality of your life. Feel your Pain. Don’t avoid it.
7. Consciously Choose what you want, and how you want to live. Can you envision living authentically, lovingly, fully expressing the truth of who you are? Is that what you want? Do you want to be happy, or do you want to be “right?” “I want to live with hope and optimism that life is always moving toward my highest good and fullest potential.” Whether you actually believe this or you’d like to believe it, just start lining yourself of up with this belief and start living this as if it was true. Watch what happens.
8. Connect with your Observing Self. Recognize the higher part of you who can become the “observer” of your own self; this is the part who can make the conscious choices about the quality of your life. “Is the true Me, the thinker, or is it the part of me who is aware that I am thinking?” You can be totally immersed in and completely identify yourself with the details and content of your life, and your life will seem like you have no control over it. As if you are just reacting to your circumstances. Or you can become aware of the consciousness in you that makes all the decisions about the details. With this awareness, you have the ability to change the quality of your experience. You can respond mindfully to your circumstances, and determine the direction you will go next. Life is always asking us to co-create our experience; connecting to your observing self will help you consciously create the life you desire.
9. Commit to change. Having an intention is the place to begin when you want change, but if you do not fully commit, truly inspired action will be difficult, and consequently, no significant change can occur. Do you know how you know you haven’t fully committed? Easy. You take no action, and nothing really changes. Break down your resistance to making a commitment, inspired action will come naturally, you will notice changes in the quality of your life virtually immediately. Get help if you are uncertain what the resistance ist. Reach out, ask someone you trust, look for a therapist, counselor, spiritual guide, to help you dig a little deeper.
10. Be Kind. Kindness is one of those Essence qualities that we all have, yet often find ourselves out of alignment with when we feel insecure, vulnerable, powerless, disconnected, and perhaps, all alone. Don’t let your Ego take over and convince you that hurting another is the solution to feeling your true emotions. The moment you feel the tightness, the heaviness, the constriction of judgement and criticism, recognize that these are indicators that a part of you is hurting, but the way to move through the feelings is to love yourself through them. And the way to stay in loving connection with the significant others in your life is not attack (despite your Ego’s attempt to avoid feeling pain by hurting another). Instead, ask yourself, “am I being kind” to this person who I love? If not, shift your focus out of your head, and into your heart. Take your next action from this place; invite your partner to join you there, with kindness.
11. BONUS ITEM: Press Pause. Remember, very, very little is urgent (house is burning down, being robbed at gun point; these are urgent!). So, when you feel that sense of urgency to do something to quickly relieve your pain, this is an indication that your Ego has activated some kind of story. What you really need to do here is slow down, take a breath, bring yourself into Presence. Feel your feelings. Allow the pain to show you what needs to be healed, what needs to be addressed, what needs to be processed. Meditation, prayer, conscious breathing are all tools to help you strengthen your ability to press pause.
Remember: You are here to become who you were born to be, create the relationships of your desires, and manifest the quality of life you deserve.