2022: Things Are Looking Up, Unless You've Got Your Head Down.

After 21 months of living on the cautious side of the pandemic, I, and all of my extended family decided we would take a calculated risk and join my eldest niece and her new husband in celebrating their recent wedding. We all had plenty of time to plan for it; she send her “Save the Date” announcements out last year.

In the fall of this year, despite the pandemic, it seemed like things were returning to a semblance of a world I used to know.

The numbers were going down here in Florida, and I had already chosen to start playing out with my band, going back to restaurants, and sometimes even running into the grocery store without a mask (oh my!).

So by the time we received the actual invitations in November, I had decided that after receiving 2 vaccines and planning for a booster shot beforehand, there was no way I would miss out on being in NY with the entire Cirabisi/Magnani/Mangione famiglia.

Everyone else decided the same.

You may know that NY was one of the few states than put a vaccine card and/or mask mandate into effect. So we were advised to bring our cards with us if we had been vaccinated, or be prepared to wear a mask during any indoor activity, including the reception.

As far as I knew, everyone within my family radius had been vaccinated; though I knew that there would definitely be folks at the wedding who were not. At the time, we were all comfortable with taking the risk, feeling pretty protected based on how we each chose to reinforce that protection for ourselves.

There are about 20 of us in my inner family circle (though we sound like 50!); this includes aunts, uncles, cousins, siblings and all the kids.

We, of course, started the weekend with a Pre-Party Pizza Night at our hotel because it is bad luck to start any family get together without NY pizza. Eating, drinking, laughing, talking. Maskless once we arrived at the banquet room the hotel set us up in.

The main event was on Friday, and they were expecting at least 100 people. Although the mandate was in place, I got the impression that nothing was going to be strictly enforced once the venue did their cursory vaccine card and mask check upon entry.

Prior to the party, we had mini conversations among the family about what each of us felt comfortable doing. I had already decided once I got inside, I would be removing my mask. My daughter was among those who believed she’d feel more comfortable keeping her mask on. There was no judgment from anyone about what the anyone else was deciding for themselves.

I was very proud of how respectful the whole group was of the differences between us.

Upon arrival at the event, we were “carded” at the door, and although most people had cards (I cannot verify the validity of some of them!), some did not. A few of those folks were “vouched” for and allowed entrance under the honor system.

When we got inside the building, out of the 100 that were there, maybe 7 of us had our masks on. As planned, I took mine off, and didn’t think about it again.

The rest of the night was a joyful, exciting, blast of dancing, singing, laughing, catching up, reminiscing, eating, drinking, and marveling at how quickly my niece went from being a cute little 3 year old at my wedding celebration 25 years ago, to becoming this beautiful young woman embarking on this next adventure of her life.

Once the festivities began, none of us looked back. At some point, I noticed my daughter had removed her mask, too; I assumed she had worked her way into the same logic as me, and the majority of us who were maskless.

It was the most fun I have had since our last family reunion years ago. I think everyone who attended would agree.

Nice. But, it doesn’t end here.

Of course, we ended the weekend the day after the celebration with a Post-Party Breakfast, because it is bad luck to end any family gathering without a trip to the Candlelight Diner in Commack.

Amazingly, if anyone was hung over, there was no apparent evidence of it (the younger generation reported that they were out till 3 am after the celebration the night before. God bless them!). There was more talking, laughing, eating, and discussions of our many plans for the next family event.

With hugs and kisses, and no masks until we left the “safety” of our own private room at the Diner, we all parted ways, each of us to our respective place in the world.

Since there was so much going on to distract us, none of us were paying too much attention to the news. So it was only when we heard that the plans that my daughter had to head to NYC and see The Rockettes would be thwarted due to illness in the cast, that we even had a thought about covid. She was disappointed, but we had no idea how the virus situation had blown up while we were enjoying ourselves.

Once everyone arrived home a day later, the text messages started to fly.

“How is everyone feeling?”

“Does anyone else have a fever?”

“A headache?”

“Coughing?”

“Sore throat?”

Yes, you guessed it. The Cirabisi/Magnani/Mangione famiglia got hit with Omicron.

Including me. Don’t worry, everyone is recovering well!

I share this story with you because it seems to be a fitting way to leave 2021 behind.

With an intention to accept the things we cannot change, change the things we can, and listen to our inner wisdom to know the difference between the two. This is true Serenity.

We all do the best we can with the levels of risk we choose to take.

It is wise take prudent precautions which may protect us from things we want to avoid.

Finding our own levels of comfort with feeling discomfort is the one of the healthy challenges in life.

And the truth is none of us can have the exact same experiences because none of have the exact same perspectives.

This isn’t wrong or bad.

It is not something to judge; it is something to accept.

Once we accept that sometimes things won’t go our way; and the best we can do is deal with the realities of how things actually are, the easier it becomes to make new choices about how we respond to these realities.

Acceptance can completely change the quality of any experience we are subjected to.

I could have gotten stuck in the pain of not knowing if my family members would get really ill, and allowed my ego to turn that pain into anger and resentment at the people at the party who were unvaccinated, who weren’t wearing masks, who weren’t careful enough the day before, who got too close to me, who weren’t dressed up enough, who were too dressed up, who ate too much; drank too much; talked too much…etc.

For me, I did my best to stay in the moment as we all progressed through our levels of illness. I knew it could get really bad, but I kept my ego in check I focused on healing and praying and staying connected to the family while we navigated through the pain together.

I could feel the urge to make someone wrong, to find fault, to attribute blame. But none of that would change the reality that we took a risk, many of us got sick, and could have possibly gotten sicker.

I feel blessed that none of us did.

I am grateful that I got the virus at a time when this variant seems to be milder those in the past.

I am thrilled that I got to spend the whole weekend with my loved ones, celebrating the union of these two amazing young people and reinforcing the connection we all have.

May you and yours be blessed, ,as we take this step into 2022, with a commitment to Health and Serenity in the year to come.

Keep looking up!

Much love,

Carol