Bumps
The bumps in your relationship may instantly and reactively make a part of you judge yourself or your partner, and maybe even question if you “should" be together.
That’s ok. That’s human. That is the part of you that wants to make things easy for you. Right? If you know that something is “wrong,” there is a clear path to making yourself feel better: Just fix the problem, ie, you, me, or the relationship itself…
However, the part of you that is reading this and wondering if that is the only way to handle the discomfort knows that it isn’t the only way!
This part of you knows that the bumps, the conflict, the friction, are all a natural part of being in a human relationship with someone who is not you! How can we possibly think we can avoid them?
Hmm, maybe this part of you recognizes that you both participate in whatever the dynamic is between the two of you.
And this part of you may even have a sense that the problem is not really a problem except that you have framed it that way.
And perhaps, this part of you knows that the discomfort that you feel actually points to a place in you that needs some attention, some healing, some love and kindness.
Maybe, this part of you knows that this place in you needs this attention directly from you first and foremost, before you start asking for anything from your partner.
When you start from a place of inner care, and you have kindly and gently put your own oxygen mask on, it becomes easier to invite your partner to join you into the kind of relationship you want to be in.
Then, once you do, how your partner responds will give you further information about how the two of you may be able to connect.
Most often, the more grace you give yourself, the more grace you have available for your partner. And with grace, comes healing and connection.
Then, as you step into the energy of this new dynamic, the way forward will become clearer.*
Always,
Carol
*Disclaimer: If there is physical violence, active addiction of any kind, active infidelity, and/or untreated mental illness, these conditions must be addressed before deeper connection is possible.
